The Fed is Bi-Winning!

Federal Reserve Chairman Bernanke gave a speech on Monday (Apr 4, 2011) at a conference hosted by the Atlantic Fed, of which he said:

“I think the increase [on inflation] will be transitory, that it will pass, and we will go back to a level of inflation that is consistent with our price stability mandate.”

He also said:

“We have to monitor inflation and inflation expectations extremely closely because if my assumptions prove not to be correct, then we would certainly have to respond to that and ensure that we maintain price stability.”

This got people thinking that the Fed might have changed its loose monetary policy, but then quotes from his interview on ABC after his speech really gave away his thinking. Some notable quotes from the interview are shown below:

Q: Some people have questioned the Fed’s reasoning behind leaving food and fuel cost out of inflation monitoring.  Why do you think they should be left out?
A: You can’t process me with a normal brain. If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ “It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.

Q: The financial tsunami had adversely affected many Americans and citizens of many countries.  How has the event affected you personally?
A: I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.

Q: Other than quantitative easing, what other tools does the Fed have in achieving its dual mandate of promoting maximum employment and price stability?
A: I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.

Q: Thomas Jefferson once said that ‘Banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, the banks and corporations that will grow up around will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.’ What do you think about that?
A: I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.

Q: Some people believe that Americans are addicted to debt, and some say that you are the drug dealer to them. Is that true?
A: The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.

Q: Ron Paul criticized you that you failed the dual mandate of the Fed, that you failed to create real jobs or to control price. What do you think?
A: Wow what does that mean? I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what?

Mea Culpa! We mixed up the Charlie Sheen’s interview with Chairman Bernanke’s. Be sure to read the true quotes on chairman Bernanke here.

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One Response to The Fed is Bi-Winning!

  1. Observer says:

    Excellent. Sheen meets Economics.

    Q: Do you ever discuss hyperinflation Mr Bernanke? How soon will ten thousand dollars be worth a hundred million dollars?

    A: “I think I’m worth over a 100 BILLION dollars, but that’s just on a cellular level.”

    Q: When you undertake Quantative easing do you use lubricant?
    A: “I’m grandiose. Because I live a grandiose life. I’m not aw shucks… because I’m gnarly.”

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